


If Only I Could Erase You (Broken Heart)

by TheFunk



Series: Monsta X Fics [9]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bittersweet Ending, Boys Kissing, Break Up, Changkyun is friends with Seventeen's 96 line, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kissing, M/M, Minor Swearing, Minor Violence, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Post-Break Up, Slapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28641966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFunk/pseuds/TheFunk
Summary: Jooheon and his boyfriend Changkyun have had a happy relationship until Jooheon catches him in a compromising position with a man he's never met.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Lee Jooheon, Im Changkyun | I.M/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Series: Monsta X Fics [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/584995
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	1. My Heart Feels Suffocated and Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Story and chapter titles come from "Broken Heart" by Monsta X.

The weather outside was nice and Jooheon basked in the feeling. He had finished his last class of the day, and he had met up with his friends. The six of them were walking across the quad, joking as they went. Jooheon laughed loudly at the face Hyungwon was making, leaning on Kihyun next to him for support. He still had no idea how someone so handsome could look so absolutely ridiculous at the same time. It was a complete mystery to all of them. Hyunwoo pushed Hyungwon off the sidewalk, who only laughed at the rough treatment.

Kihyun slapped Hyunwoo on the back, scolding him for his actions. Hyunwoo only rubbed the back of his head lightly. They were heading back to Hoseok’s dorm, having just gone to lunch. Changkyun was the only one of their friend group who hadn’t joined them, and Jooheon was a little bit upset. He loved spending time with his boyfriend and wanted to see him today. Well, Jooheon wanted to see him every day, so that wasn’t new.

Apparently, though, Changkyun owed his roommate a favor, and Jihoon was cashing in. And it seemed as though he wasn’t able to join them for lunch. Whatever Jihoon had needed though was probably important, as he was a pretty serious kid from what he had been told. So Jooheon couldn’t really blame his boyfriend for not being there.

“Hey, isn’t that Changkyunnie?” Minhyuk asked.

Minhyuk’s voice pierced his ears, pulling him from his musings. Sure enough, sat on a bench at the edge of the courtyard, was Changkyun. Jooheon recognized the back of his boyfriend’s favorite pink sweater. One of Changkyun’s other friends had given it to him, though Jooheon couldn’t remember his name. Changkyun seemed to just be sitting on the bench. Maybe he could go and see what Jihoon was forcing Changkyun to do.

“Who’s that with him? That’s not Jihoon,” Kihyun said.

And sure enough, the boy sitting next to Changkyun was not Jihoon. What Jooheon knew of Jihoon was that he was quite small with pink hair and what Changkyun had described as a “fairy’s face”. This boy did not match that description. In fact, Jooheon had no idea who that was. Whoever he was though, he was extremely pretty. He had dark black hair and pretty, almost regal features. He could only watch as Changkyun laughed at something the other boy said.

Jooheon was confused. This didn’t seem like some sort of errand that Jihoon would send Changkyun on. He was expecting to see Changkyun carrying something heavy, not sitting on a bench under a cherry blossom tree, laughing with an admittedly stunning boy. It was… interesting.

While Jooheon watched them, they seemed to get serious and start talking, no more apparent joking around. The boy’s face was very emotive, switching between anger, fear, and… affection rather quickly. Jooheon couldn’t see Changkyun’s face though, as he had his back turned to them. The boy’s face looked calm yet determined, as though he had made a decision, and then he surged forward and…

They were kissing. That boy and his boyfriend were kissing. And Changkyun wasn’t pushing away. He was letting it happen, his one hand clutched on the boy’s sweater. Jooheon felt dread begin to fill within him. Changkyun was cheating on him. How long had this been happening? Who was this other guy, and how did they feel so comfortable that they could be doing this where anyone could see them? What did that boy have that Jooheon didn’t?

The boy kissing his boyfriend pulled away quickly, grabbing his phone from the table. Changkyun laughed as the guy answered the call. Jooheon felt sick. They had just shattered his world, and now they were laughing about it. What kind of assholes did that?

A soft touch on his arm made him jump, but he couldn’t look away just yet. Not when the boy was pressing kisses to Changkyun’s cheek, his boyfriend batting the hands away playfully. Changkyun used to do the same thing when they started dating last year, still not used to the PDA.

When the boy finally left, Jooheon turned to look at who was touching his arm. It was Kihyun. Of course, it was Kihyun.

“Are you okay honey?” His voice was soft, as if afraid if he spoke any louder, Jooheon would flip out.

Hoseok growled next to him, “Of course he’s not okay! I’m gonna beat that kids’ fucking ass! How dare he do that to you?”

Minhyuk was also buzzing, eyes flitting between him and Changkyun. Hyunwoo looked ready to fight and Hyungwon… Hyungwon was walking towards Changkyun.

He ripped his arm from Kihyun’s grasp, running to cut in front of his same age friend. Hyungwon’s eyes were stormy, brows drawn tight. Jooheon had never seen Hyungwon make a face like this before in his life.

“Don’t do anything to him, Won!” Jooheon exclaimed.

Hyungwon gaped at him, “That asshole has been cheating on you! He doesn’t deserve you! He deserves a slap in the face!”

“I know! And I’m gonna go give him one! But I need you all behind me, so he knows that he’s not getting out of this. That you’re all on my side.”

Minhyuk scoffed behind him, “Of course we will. What kind of friends do you think we are? We’re with you a hundred percent.”

He took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders as he walked towards Changkyun. The boy was playing on his phone, smile on his face, not a care in the world. He stood above Changkyun, confidence building as he felt the presence of his friends behind him.

Changkyun looked up at him, smile growing as they locked eyes. Jooheon felt his body start to shake. How dare he? How dare he look so goddamn innocent when he was anything but? He was wearing the oversized pink sweater that Jooheon loved so much, and his round glasses made him look about two years younger. He looked so sweet but now Jooheon knew that it was all a lie.

Changkyun pushed his glasses up his nose, “Hi hyung! I wa-”

A loud cracking sound erupted. He felt the sting in his palm, and Changkyun’s cheek was quickly turning red. Changkyun looked up at him with dazed, watery eyes.

“Wha-”

“Don’t! We’re done! Through! Don’t even think about trying to talk your way out of this. Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, don’t even think about me ever again if you know what’s good for you. You disgust me Lim Changkyun,” Jooheon spit the words out.

Changkyun had panic in his eyes, looking between them all with his brow furrowed. Jooheon would almost commend Changkyun on his acting skills if he wasn’t so pissed off.

“Wha- hyungs? What’s going on?” Changkyun asked.

Kihyun huffed, “He’s breaking up with you, dumbass. And if you ever speak to him again, I will personally send Hyunwoo to kick your ass.”

And with that, he grabbed Jooheon’s hand, and turned and left. They all followed closely behind him, leaving a devastated Changkyun behind.


	2. I Can't Get Closer to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun tries to talk to Jooheon and explain his side, but Jooheon's friends run interference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from "Broken Heart" by Monsta X

The six of them were sitting at their usual lunch table and Jooheon had so far only managed to pick at his food. He couldn’t get the image of his boyfriend, _ex-_ boyfriend, out of his mind. Every time he closed his eyes, that boy’s smug face laughed at him, taunting him as he kissed Changkyun over and over again. Cheating was something so despicable that it made his skin crawl to realize and remember that he had been the victim of it.

“It’s been over a week, when will he give up?” Hyungwon asked.

Jooheon looked past Minhyuk to see what Hyungwon was talking about. Changkyun could be seen talking to Hyunwoo, trying to get to their table. He was almost flattered that Changkyun was trying so hard, but Jooheon wasn’t going to let anything change his mind. Changkyun had hurt him, betrayed him in the worst way imaginable, and he was never going to forgive him.

His friends were truly the glue that was holding him together. Whenever he felt as though he was about to fall apart, they were there to lift him up. They were all completely on his side. None of them had so much as even thought to take Changkyun’s side, not when he was so obviously in the wrong. They had effectively excommunicated Changkyun from their group and made it so that he hadn’t had to talk to Changkyun at all. It felt great. It was what he deserved.

Changkyun peeked past Hyunwoo’s body, eyes meeting Jooheon’s own. They looked like he was pleading with Jooheon, dark bags under his eyes. He didn’t get much time to look at them though, when Hyunwoo pushed him back. Their eyes were ripped apart, and Changkyun landed harshly on his butt.

His eyes looked wide and round from where he was sitting on the floor, and Jooheon shifted his gaze to avoid them. He got up slowly, brushing himself off. He winced as he did so, but Jooheon couldn’t help but to feel a twinge of satisfaction at Changkyun’s every twinge of pain. Perhaps then he would come to know how Jooheon feels. Changkyun backed up slowly, ignoring the eyes of others in the building, before turning and hustling away, glancing back at them every so often.

When Changkyun was finally out of sight, he let out a sigh of relief, “Thank god. I was so not ready to talk to him yet.”

Kihyun patted his shoulder, “Don’t worry honey. He’ll get the message one of these days. And when he does, you’ll hardly ever see him around campus anymore. That’s what happened with me and Yoongi.”

But despite Kihyun’s assurances, it seemed like he was seeing Changkyun everywhere. In the courtyard, the hallways, the convenience store, you name it, Changkyun was there. He saw him more now than when they were dating. It seemed like whenever Jooheon turned the corner, he was there.

Sometimes when he saw him, Changkyun was alone, and sometimes he had Jihoon or a random friend by his side. The worst, however, was when he saw Changkyun with pretty boy. It was like rubbing salt in the wound. Did Changkyun’s friends know that Changkyun had cheated on him? And with one of their own friends? And if they did, how had they justified it to themselves, staying friends with two people who were like that, who were willing to do that? It made Jooheon glad that he hardly knew Changkyun’s friends, clearly, they weren’t the sort he wanted to hang around anyways. He had saved himself the heartache of losing friends along with love.

Sometimes Changkyun would see him, and sometimes he wouldn’t. He dreaded the times when he saw him, because Changkyun would always make a beeline in his direction. Usually at least one of the guys were there to run interference, but once he’d had to run through some bushes in order to escape. It was getting annoying. And exhausting. So, so exhausting.

A week later and Jooheon was about to leave the bathroom near his math class when he heard Changkyun’s deep voice. Despite how much he hated to hear it now, Jooheon would always be able to pick Changkyun’s voice out of a crowd. Had Changkyun been following him, hoping to corner him outside the bathroom? That was probably a new low for him. Jooheon pressed his ear against the door, hoping to hear whatever it was Changkyun dared to say.

“Hey, Minhyuk hyung. Soonyoung is taking me and the guys out to karaoke tonight, do you wanna come with us?” Changkyun asked.

He could hear Minhyuk’s scoff from the stall he was hiding in. Changkyun wanted Minhyuk to go to karaoke with him? Like everything was fine? Like he hadn’t crushed his heart, betraying the trust of him and his friends? As if.

“Seriously Lim? You want me to hang out with those assholes you call friends? Think again,” Minhyuk said.

“But you’ve never even met them before,” Changkyun whined and the sound grated at Jooheon’s ears.

“I don’t need to. Trash stays with trash. They turned you into garbage just like them. We told you they were bad influences. You used to be such a good boy. It’s a shame,” Minhyuk’s voice was matter of fact.

“Wha-”

“And what Jooheon said applies to all of us. Don’t talk to me or the guys ever again. And you have the nerve to talk to us when you haven’t even apologized to Jooheon.”

“For what?” Changkyun’s voice was indignant yet desperate and it made Jooheon seethe from his stall.

Minhyuk scoffed, “Pathetic.”

There was silence for a few minutes, and Jooheon waited for a little while longer until he was sure they were gone. His heart felt warm hearing the words Minhyuk spoke. Sure, some might think they were harsh, but it showed that Minhyuk truly was on his side. Even when he wasn’t there, his friends were still defending him fiercely. It felt nice to know he had such true friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I hope you enjoyed chapter two! Please stick around for chapter three (the final chapter) on Tuesday :)


	3. I Won't Have It Ever Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out, and realizations are had by all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from Monsta X's "Broken Heart"

After nearly one month, Changkyun finally managed to corner him. They had been walking in the courtyard when the boy popped in front of them out of nowhere. By the time they had realized he was there, they had no space to run. It didn’t help that Changkyun had brought help this time.

Standing behind Changkyun was a boy with a solemn face, a boy with small eyes that reminded Jooheon of his own, and... pretty boy. He would have thought that Changkyun would have the decency not to bring the boy into his sight, but apparently, he was wrong.

“What do you want Lim?” Jooheon asked, making sure to keep his voice cold. Changkyun did not deserve any more emotion from him.

He could see the light in Changkyun’s eyes dim at the harsh tone of his voice, and he had to fight to hide his smile.

“Please, I... I just want to talk. Please just talk to me.”

He was about to let Hoseok push past them when he noticed how different Changkyun looked. His eyes were bloodshot and the light that used to shine in them was gone. They were sunken in dark, giant bags living under them. His hair was greasy, and his skin was pale. He was skinnier than Jooheon had ever seen him look before. He looked terrible.

He stuck a hand up, pressing the back of it to Hoseok’s chest. He could tell his friends were confused, but he figured he should finally allow himself some closure. Maybe if he let Changkyun explain himself, he could finally get the closure he needed and deserved.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?” Jooheon relented.

Changkyun let out an audible sigh, “Please just, just tell me what went wrong. Tell me what went wrong so that we can fix it together.”

Jooheon was so gobsmacked that he barely registered the pretty boy slipping away, “What do you mean ‘what went wrong’? How can you eve-”

Kihyun spoke up before Changkyun could say anything, “Oooh that’s gotta hurt Changkyunnie. Look at that. It’s gotta hurt seeing him kiss Jihoon like that.”

Jooheon whipped around, eyes following Kihyun’s accusing finger. Sure enough, the pretty boy had Jihoon’s face in his hands, kissing him softly. He pulled away from him before leading Jihoon back towards the group.

Changkyun simply looked confused, “You mean Jun? I mean, he’s my roommate’s boyfriend so I’m kinda used to them making out.”

“Oh, so you were both cheating on your boyfriends then. You really deserve each other.”

Jihoon and Jun joined the group, watching from the back. If possible, Changkyun looked even more confused. His mouth was gaping as he looked between Jooheon and his friends.

“I’ve never cheated on Jihoonie,” the voice that came from Jun was softer than Jooheon was anticipating, and it made Jooheon hate him more.

“And I would never cheat on you hyung, you know that,” Changkyun said.

“Oh my god stop lying Changkyun! We saw you! We saw you kiss him in the courtyard under the cherry blossom tree!”

Changkyun had recoiled at Jooheon’s voice. He looked devastated still.

His voice was small as he answered, “That was... hyung we were acting.”

Hyungwon scoffed, “Oh my god kid, get a better excuse.”

“I’m not lying!” Changkyun cried, “You- I even told you about it! Junhui got the lead in the musical and needed someone to run lines with him! Jihoon couldn’t do it because he was sick, and Wonwoo was helping Soonyoung with a lit essay. It was just acting. You thought I was cheating on you?”

Jihoon pulled something out of Jun’s backpack and shoved it into Jooheon’s chest with a dark look on his face. On closer inspection, it appeared to be a script for something called “The Vampire’s Lover” given to... Wen Junhui.

So Changkyun hadn’t been lying... about anything. It was acting. He was simply helping a friend in need and Jooheon... Jooheon had been horrible to him. He had slapped him, yelled at him, called him names, and isolated him from his friends. He thought about all the times Changkyun had tried to reach out to him, to his friends, begging to know what it was he had done wrong. But it was nothing. Changkyun had done nothing wrong. He’d never forgive himself.

“He’s telling the truth. He never cheated on me,” he turned to look at Changkyun, who had tears welling in his eyes, “Baby, I’m so sor-”

“No! You don’t get to call me “baby” and say sorry and expect everything to be okay! You, you hurt me hyung. You slapped me,” Changkyun whimpered.

Changkyun’s friends recoiled, as though they hadn’t been privy to that information. One of them (Wonwoo?) grabbed his hand and pulled him behind him. As if they were afraid for Changkyun’s safety around them. As if Jooheon would hurt him again. Jooheon could only hang his head in shame.

“You guys just... threw me away so easily. Like I was nothing to you. How easy was it to ignore me and pretend you never knew me? Did I mean so little to you?” Changkyun continued.

Kihyun stepped forward, arm reaching out to hold his hand, “Oh, Changkyunnie no. Sweetheart we-”

Changkyun yanked his hand away and burrowed more into Wonwoo’s side, “No! You made me feel like I was nothing, like I was trash. It’s like you were just waiting for me to screw up so you could drop me from your lives! Did the past two years mean nothing to you? I thought we were friends!”

Tears were now streaming down Changkyun’s face, and Jooheon wanted nothing more than to make it stop. He wanted to reach out and hold him, to pull him away from the people who Jooheon had had no reason to hate, who had protected his boyfriend from him. The people who had stayed by Changkyun’s side when everyone else had isolated and vilified him.

“Baby-”

Changkyun’s eyes narrowed, becoming hard at his interjection, “I thought I loved you.”

Jooheon could only watch on in agony as Changkyun walked away. Changkyun’s friends clung to his sides, a silent show of support, Junhui tightest of all. He never looked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all finished now, thank you so much for reading I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know how it felt, leave me a kudos or a comment!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! Let me know how you felt, leave me a comment or a kudos! I've finished all of the chapters already so I'll be posting the rest on an every other day schedule (or every day, whichever yall want)!
> 
> Follow me on twt @thefunk_ao3 for fic updates!


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